‘Hallo’ Kimchi, Meet My Brussels.
It will pump you up!
I take the Brussel sprout cores, some green daikon slices and turn them into the most delicious kimchi you have ever known. It’s fermented, it’s probiotic, it’s bipartisan, it makes people happy and hell it’s even good for pregnant women. It might even win elections. Who knows.
Brussel sprout kimchi is my Slippy Mickey. It creeps up on you and then turns into an addiction. Hey, there are worse things. I’ll gladly take that pill. Ride the red, fermented dragon, yo.
I was always a fan of kimchi but then Korea happened. Fuck. It was Seoul, that ruined it. I was eating kimchi everywhere and the place that seemed to do it for me was a place near this quasi-Rodeo drive (Apgujeong Rodeo Street – 압구정 로데오 거리). It was heavenly. We were being entertained by some prospective software clients and they decided to take us on a whirlwind gluttonous journey filled with blood sausage, copious amounts of soju and wait for it…kimchi!
God, if you are listening, I am about to sin, big time.
We had eight…eight servings of various thingies in kimchi. I am going to let that sink in. “Eight-tah” servings. And I thought I knew kimchi. I am so fucking stupid sometimes – most of the time actually. We had delta shrimp, river minnows (anchovies), bean sprouts, fried tofu, scallions, green daikon, carrots, live octopus and quail egg.
Wait, where’s the cabbage? Nowhere. Keep drinking – gulp, gulp. The chopsticks seem so far away now.
I am going to fast forward here a bit and simply say that left an impression on me as you can already imagine. I wouldn’t have written this recipe if it didn’t. It left a mark on me forever. I have always had an affinity for sauerkraut, miso, kefir, and kombucha but kimchi trumps them all. I make it all the time now. I make straight Nappa cabbage kimchi, daikon kimchi, kimchi salsa, kimchi chutney, dried kimchi jerky, kimchi cucumber, kimchi bloody marys, and above all kimchi brussel sprouts.
My Kimchi Method
Let me reiterate here and say I make this from unused Brussel sprout cores along with some leaves and some thin daikon slices. I salt them generously and then weigh them down with a plate or something heavy. Wait a day.
I create a big kimchi paste in a non-reactive bowl. I can hear the music already. Add all the ingredients (sans daikon and Brussels) into a CuisinArt. It’s red and sexy. The last stage is mixing the paste with the brussels and daikon. Fold everything into an air-tight jar. We want to create some fermentation in an proper anaerobic environment. This will keep the kimchi on the up and up.
Warning: once you make this, you will have a hard time looking at Brussel sprouts again.
- 2 cups of loose Brussels sprout cores and leaves
- 1/2 cup of green radish or daikon batons
- 1/2 cup white onion
- 1 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp fish sauce
- 1 tsp fermented shrimp minced
- 6 garlic cloves
- 1 tbl minced ginger
- 1 carrot
- 5 scallions
- 1 stalk of Minari or Asian celery
- 2 tbl Korean pepper powder
- A 1/4 part of a pear
- 1/2 cup water
- 1 teaspoon rice flour
- 1 teaspoon brown sugar
Kimchi Brussel Sprouts Ingredients
Why so little? I originally came up with the recipe in NYC where our apartment was so itsy-bitsy small. I didn’t have much room to store anything fermented so I came up with a NYC serving size that I could store. Trust me, it will go a long way. It’s potent, fermented and will put hair on your chest – man or woman. It’s also quite spot on with regards to authenticity.
- Mix the water, rice flour and brown sugar in a bowl. Heat for a few minutes. Cool. That’s the porridge A.K.A. the sticky stuff to bring everything together and form the paste.
- Gather your garlic, fish sauce, ginger, white onion, pear, little fermented shrimps, Korean red pepper and CuisineArt that shiz. So much faster.
- Add those two batches together. Mix. It should be pungent.
- Add that to your Asian celery, scallions, radish (or daikon), carrot (the list could go on). Stir well.
- Put some gloves on.
- Work that mixture into the Brussel sprout. Gently massaging it for a minute or so.
- Put everything in a canning jar.
Leave it out for a day or so. Then once you see bubbles, refrigerate that deliciousness. Come back to it in a week. Rejoice. That wasn’t so hard was it?
